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We like our honesty of the brutal variety, the kind of truthfulness that can sometimes hurt. The realness that can sting.

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Our pasts have been littered with far too much of that. We know bullshit still smells, no matter how hard you try to disguise it with potpourri.

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Lots of things sound nice. Broken promises sound nice.

The stuff right before the falling and cracking glasses. We can convince ourselves anything is lovely, if we just sip on the Kool Aid a little longer. We can stay high on the delusion just one more night.

The idea of playing games just seems exhausting. And truth be told?

I could live my life without you and probably still find happiness and success. Get a French Bulldog.

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Put sweaters on him when he was cold in the winter. But I want you.

You are not imperative to my survival. You are not a pair of lungs pumping oxygen through my body.

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But I want you so badly, I can feel it pulsing in my blood. I can taste you for hours after we say wabt and all I have is the faint smell of you on my sweater. I want you when you are upset, want to sit with you while we figure it out.

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But I really, really want you in it. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

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I have learned those men do not exist. I chose to surrender it.

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